as many people know Battleye is known for having an insecure anti-hack. so I am in the middle of trying to create an anti-hack which completely works through a database. the problem is that I have looked on many websites on how to connect to an external database (not on this computer) but haven't found anything. just wondering if anyone can help me.

What database system ?

For MySQL for example just use their client library, you just need to know internet address and port of the database server you wish to connect to (port 3306 for default installation in this case).

I suppose it is the same for other database engines, use their client library the same way as if it was hosted on your computer. Of course, the firewalls must allow the connection.

its going to need to be MySQL but at the same time im new to c++ and don't know how you would connect to the database through ip as the only way I have seen on visual studio is through your computer files. I can send you the link to the current programs if you want

This is how to use MySQL on windows (binary and source code available using MSI installer):
http://dev.mysql.com/doc/connector-cpp/en/index.html

This is some examples of how to use it (you said that already know how to use it on localhost):
http://dev.mysql.com/doc/connector-cpp/en/connector-cpp-getting-started-examples.html